EV Heave

Just couldn't wait

2011-10-23T07:44:00.000-07:00

Well, this looks serious. This is that instantaneous hurl in which you can even make into one of the Coop's eaves for privacy... Just right smack in the middle of the sidewalk.

At least attempt to cover it up ... kinda like this...

And we're back

2011-08-07T08:32:00.000-07:00

Sunday morning, Aug. 7

Cinco de Barfo

2011-05-08T19:38:00.000-07:00

Also, another attempt by someone to try to clean it up with a tissue or two...

March Gakness

2011-03-18T16:45:00.000-07:00

Friday, or, the day after St. Patrick's Day. The Legend Continues...

Puke Schneider

2011-02-20T08:27:00.000-08:00

Taking a break from the Coop... taking a walk by Zum Schnieder on Seventh Street.

A gift from Coach no longer elicits the same reaction as before

2011-01-22T08:55:00.000-08:00

Assessing the New Year's Day morning damage

2011-01-01T08:30:00.000-08:00

Hmm. Could have been worse. But why did you have to hurl on the former skateboard ramp?

Rough weekend at the Coop?

2010-12-05T08:24:00.000-08:00

OK, this actually even grossed me out...

2010-11-18T18:18:00.001-08:00

Calling Uncle Ralph

2010-10-22T05:13:00.000-07:00

Did the person who barfed here feel guilty and try to either cover or clean up the mess ...? Or is the napkin from someone who wanted to use the phone?

More pavement pizza on the menu at the Coop

2010-10-13T20:01:00.000-07:00

From a post-Green party, perhaps?

Where I've been

2010-09-23T21:20:00.000-07:00

The other day, local hyperlocal blogger EV Grieve published a post on his weblet about a young woman throwing up out the window at Motorino.

There was some insinuation, innuendo and inoculation like: Where was EV Heave for all this?

Well, busybody commenters, I was waiting for the results from the Barf Lab to relay the scoop. But if you must know now.

I've been busy trying to reconstruct just what happened here.

Using our patented RetchRecreator, we have determined that someone roughly 4 feet tall, drunk, obvs, staggered up to this rather hidden enclave on the southern corner of the Coop. First, our subject leaned his or head against the wall, muttering "what is in a Lemon Drop anyway?" before placing his or her head against the pillar. As you can see, it appears the first projectile hit the upright pillar, causing the subject to teeter, and leaving the rest of the deposit on the sidewalk.

Again, the is is merely speculation. Again (again), I was waiting for the final results. You people really need to relax.

And we're back!

2010-09-13T15:32:00.000-07:00

Well, now! Big weekend here, of course. So much was going on! All those college and pro football games! So many opportunities for binge drinking and wing eating.... kind of like any other night around the dorkier sections of the neighborhood! Still! On Sunday, we spied quite the motherload....

A Super Bowl-caliber batch of barf. And right smack in the heart of the sidewalk. Couldn't even wait to make it to one of the building's eaves? Of course, Cooper Union Serial Vomiter WANTS you to see his or her work. Why hide it?

This is getting sick.

Cooper Union installing Vomit Spotting Towers

2010-08-22T09:29:00.000-07:00

With the new school year approaching, Cooper Union officials are wasting no resources to protect their still-newish academic building from the Serial Vomiter, who has seemingly gone backpacking this summer....

Yesterday, a work crew closed Tara Shevdenko Place on the east side of the school....

...for a top secret installation early in the morning....

According to a kind-of credible source, the school is installing a Vomit Spotting Tower...

...similar to the kind that Shark Spotters have used in Australia and Amity Island...

This time it's personal.

Day 149 or 150....

2010-07-22T03:15:00.000-07:00

No sign of vomit. Still on job. Must...keep...

There will be blood, or maybe a strawberry parfait

2010-05-27T12:21:00.000-07:00

Um, not sure what to say about this discovery outside the Coop. I can't tell if someone dropped a strawberry parfait or a jar with brain matter. It tasted more like a parfait.

Why there's been an uptick in the upchuck on Cooper Square

2010-05-04T05:28:00.001-07:00

Well, there are some suspicious looking splats here on the southwest corner of the Cooper Square academic building... Nothing looking too much like the work of the dreaded Serial Vomiter...

As we stood there suavely swabbing the evidence, we stopped to each our lunch. Munching on chili dogs, our eyes gazed up in the air toward the south where we thought we saw a billboard for desert-friendly leg waxing kits... and....

Of course! No wonder there have been more splats here! And just think when people actually have to watch the movie...Yuk, yuk. Yuck.

Thank you New York for making us the fastest-growing blog about the Cooper Union Serial Vomiter probably in the world

2010-05-04T05:28:00.000-07:00

Well, we're not ones to toot out own horns, though we are guilty of starting sentences with "well" too many times.

Anyway, the EV Heave IT Director and our Web Evangelist recently Skyped me to tell me the fantastic news: This modest site has grown over the most recent month by an astonishing 475 percent! This, according to an analysis of our most recent analysis.

Wow! Considering this site is brand new and these numbers are compared to a previous month of zereos, we're thrilled! Thank you for reading! Plus, thanks for coming to this site!

Will the Serial Vomiter try to ruin the President's visit?

2010-04-22T03:26:00.000-07:00

Things have been quiet lately over here at EV Heave. Too quiet if you ask us. A chilling thought has crossed the mind of EV Heave's: What if all this has merely been a practice run for the President's visit today? After all, the President is the second most famous person to be in the East Village the last year. (Third if those Justin Bieber rumors were true.) An international stage is all the Serial Vomiter needs.

Meanwhile, red-faced Cooper Union security officials were red-faced to see that the wrong kind of Barf Barriers were ordered for the Big Day.

Meanwhile, the school's current barriers are, admittedly, really useless.

In fact, a walk around the premises yesterday afternoon revealed a rushed effort to clean up from last visit...

In fact again, we freely walked around the Cooper Union last night with a Porchetta sandwich that we were eating out of a dirty ashtray and chugging buttermilk. And not one person approached us! What if we were intentionally trying to make ourselves sick?

Whiz you were here

2010-04-08T06:38:00.000-07:00

Been slow going on the Barf Beat of late... oh, sure, there has been a little bit here and there...

...but it seems as if the Coop is being used more as a urinal than a vomitorium of late ... in fact, this special little corner brings back memories of yesteryear on the Bowery...

All is quiet on the Cooper front

2010-03-22T16:25:00.000-07:00

Things have been quiet at the Cooper Union. Too quiet, if you ask us or me. The Serial Vomiter has apparently gone into hiding, attempting to lull us into a false sense of complacency that can only be described as false.

Still, CU officials aren't taking things sitting the proverbial down. Saturday, a crew began work on a protective moat to protect the school...

However, it turned out not to be a moat, but simply some road repairs.

Meanwhile, we wait.

Ruminating about the Day After

2010-03-18T07:26:00.000-07:00

Like a blogger who chronicles the Cooper Union Vomiter the morning after St. Patrick's Day, we were embarrassingly excited to see what might be in store for us this morning near or on the Cooper Union. While making our way to our post, we, to our horror, horrifyingly saw that the city's Vomit Sweepers had just made their way up Seventh Street, passing your St. Patrick's Day HQ with surprising efficiency.

Noooooooooo! we thought about yelling to no one in particular, though we aren't really ones who would actually ever yell Noooooooooo!

But in all seriousness, we seriously didn't spot any vomit near or on the Cooper Union this morning.

Why?

1) It's St. Patrick's Day. Day of amateurs. And people who like to act like one. Do you really think the Serial Vomiter would bother on such a day. It's like Brett Favre showing up for training camp. No. The Serial Vomiter is really sick, and lives to ruin moments that you wouldn't even begin to think about, like tomorrow.

2) On St. Patrick's Day, research has shown that most people tend to throw up on themselves, not wonders of architecture like the Cooper Union.

Meanwhile, stocking up for another day. Now is the time to go drink there.

See you soon!

2010-03-17T07:12:00.000-07:00

Eater sent an intern to live blog from McSorley's... The poor Coop.

It's going to be a long day...

2010-03-17T07:01:00.000-07:00

[Image via This Ain't the Summer of Love]

An under the eave heave

2010-03-10T01:57:00.000-08:00

Well, technically not an eave...but it rhymes! This past weekend, someone (or something!) decided to let loose in the area adjacent to the skateboard park at Cooper Union...

We did not feel like moving any closer for an inspection.

Another stakeout, another 48 hours, another long weekend at the Coop

2010-03-05T06:45:00.000-08:00

We're ready after reading EV Grieve's barfbuster post from earlier today...

In case you missed it:

A friendly tipster passed along the following from a Cooper Union student, who — wisely at first — thought the e-mail below was a hoax given all the upheaval there of late. But it is not.

From: bulkmail@cooper.edu
Date: March 3, 2010 2:37:35 PM EST
To: undisclosed-recipients:;
Subject: A nasty stomach virus at Cooper

Cooper has been hit by a 48 hour stomach virus, characterized by projectile vomiting and high temperatures.
Wash your hands frequently with soap and water. This is the single most effective preventive step you can take.
Go back to using the Purell dispensers.
Try not to touch your eyes, nose, or mouth.
Avoid large gatherings.
If you get the virus, stay home! Drink lots of fluids.

Alan Wolf
Campus-wide Safety Coordinator

Image via

Cooper Union's new Barf Barriers help thwart the Serial Vomiter

2010-03-02T20:02:00.000-08:00

Cooper Union officials recently probably didn't appoint a Blue Ribbon Yak Force to explore solutions to the ongoing occurrences of the Serial Vomiter targeting the school's new academic building.

The solution: Barf Barriers will now surround the school. They are similar to the ones employed by Daytona Beach city officials to help combat spring breaks in the early 1980s.

And they worked this last weekend: There were no reportings of vomit near or on Cooper Union.

When will the Cooper Union invest in a sawdust bucket?

2010-02-23T06:40:00.000-08:00

So! As EV Grieve has been reporting, a serial vomiter has been targeting the newish Cooper Union building. First, the editors at EV Heave want to thank EV Grieve for all the work on this...

Anyway! So last weekend, the Serial Vomiter struck again.

We also spotted a few other suspicious-looking piles... the first is, well, sweet Jesus we really don't want to know what this is exactly...

And this? Well! At least someone (or something!) was nice enough to cover it with newspapers. (And think if this publication was online only! Gonna cover this with your laptop?)

As awful as all this is, we think we caught a break in the case: A set of poopy prints!

It is our belief that the Serial Vomiter, so intent on his or her end goal, unknowingly walked in doggie doo... and left a valuable clue. We sent a sample to the BSI lab for analysis.

Page Six casually notes: Susan Sarandon vomited on at The Box

2010-02-20T10:18:00.000-08:00

From Page Six!

It was not Susan Sarandon's night at The Box, where throngs of partygoers stayed from late Thursday into the early morning to help the Lower East Side burlesque club ring in its third anniversary. Sarandon, who recently separated from Tim Robbins, got an unpleasant party favor when transsexual performer Rose Wood vomited on stage directly onto the Oscar winner.