Will the Serial Vomiter try to ruin the President's visit?

Things have been quiet lately over here at EV Heave. Too quiet if you ask us. A chilling thought has crossed the mind of EV Heave's: What if all this has merely been a practice run for the President's visit today? After all, the President is the second most famous person to be in the East Village the last year. (Third if those Justin Bieber rumors were true.) An international stage is all the Serial Vomiter needs.

Meanwhile, red-faced Cooper Union security officials were red-faced to see that the wrong kind of Barf Barriers were ordered for the Big Day.



Meanwhile, the school's current barriers are, admittedly, really useless.




In fact, a walk around the premises yesterday afternoon revealed a rushed effort to clean up from last visit...



In fact again, we freely walked around the Cooper Union last night with a Porchetta sandwich that we were eating out of a dirty ashtray and chugging buttermilk. And not one person approached us! What if we were intentionally trying to make ourselves sick?