Cooper Union installing Vomit Spotting Towers

With the new school year approaching, Cooper Union officials are wasting no resources to protect their still-newish academic building from the Serial Vomiter, who has seemingly gone backpacking this summer....

Yesterday, a work crew closed Tara Shevdenko Place on the east side of the school....



...for a top secret installation early in the morning....




According to a kind-of credible source, the school is installing a Vomit Spotting Tower...



...similar to the kind that Shark Spotters have used in Australia and Amity Island...



This time it's personal.

Day 149 or 150....

No sign of vomit. Still on job. Must...keep...

There will be blood, or maybe a strawberry parfait

Um, not sure what to say about this discovery outside the Coop. I can't tell if someone dropped a strawberry parfait or a jar with brain matter. It tasted more like a parfait.

Why there's been an uptick in the upchuck on Cooper Square

Well, there are some suspicious looking splats here on the southwest corner of the Cooper Square academic building... Nothing looking too much like the work of the dreaded Serial Vomiter...

As we stood there suavely swabbing the evidence, we stopped to each our lunch. Munching on chili dogs, our eyes gazed up in the air toward the south where we thought we saw a billboard for desert-friendly leg waxing kits... and....





Of course! No wonder there have been more splats here! And just think when people actually have to watch the movie...Yuk, yuk. Yuck.

Thank you New York for making us the fastest-growing blog about the Cooper Union Serial Vomiter probably in the world

Well, we're not ones to toot out own horns, though we are guilty of starting sentences with "well" too many times.

Anyway, the EV Heave IT Director and our Web Evangelist recently Skyped me to tell me the fantastic news: This modest site has grown over the most recent month by an astonishing 475 percent! This, according to an analysis of our most recent analysis.



Wow! Considering this site is brand new and these numbers are compared to a previous month of zereos, we're thrilled! Thank you for reading! Plus, thanks for coming to this site!

Will the Serial Vomiter try to ruin the President's visit?

Things have been quiet lately over here at EV Heave. Too quiet if you ask us. A chilling thought has crossed the mind of EV Heave's: What if all this has merely been a practice run for the President's visit today? After all, the President is the second most famous person to be in the East Village the last year. (Third if those Justin Bieber rumors were true.) An international stage is all the Serial Vomiter needs.

Meanwhile, red-faced Cooper Union security officials were red-faced to see that the wrong kind of Barf Barriers were ordered for the Big Day.



Meanwhile, the school's current barriers are, admittedly, really useless.




In fact, a walk around the premises yesterday afternoon revealed a rushed effort to clean up from last visit...



In fact again, we freely walked around the Cooper Union last night with a Porchetta sandwich that we were eating out of a dirty ashtray and chugging buttermilk. And not one person approached us! What if we were intentionally trying to make ourselves sick?

Whiz you were here

Been slow going on the Barf Beat of late... oh, sure, there has been a little bit here and there...



...but it seems as if the Coop is being used more as a urinal than a vomitorium of late ... in fact, this special little corner brings back memories of yesteryear on the Bowery...