Will the Serial Vomiter try to ruin the President's visit?

Things have been quiet lately over here at EV Heave. Too quiet if you ask us. A chilling thought has crossed the mind of EV Heave's: What if all this has merely been a practice run for the President's visit today? After all, the President is the second most famous person to be in the East Village the last year. (Third if those Justin Bieber rumors were true.) An international stage is all the Serial Vomiter needs.

Meanwhile, red-faced Cooper Union security officials were red-faced to see that the wrong kind of Barf Barriers were ordered for the Big Day.



Meanwhile, the school's current barriers are, admittedly, really useless.




In fact, a walk around the premises yesterday afternoon revealed a rushed effort to clean up from last visit...



In fact again, we freely walked around the Cooper Union last night with a Porchetta sandwich that we were eating out of a dirty ashtray and chugging buttermilk. And not one person approached us! What if we were intentionally trying to make ourselves sick?

An under the eave heave

Well, technically not an eave...but it rhymes! This past weekend, someone (or something!) decided to let loose in the area adjacent to the skateboard park at Cooper Union...



We did not feel like moving any closer for an inspection.

Another stakeout, another 48 hours, another long weekend at the Coop

We're ready after reading EV Grieve's barfbuster post from earlier today...

In case you missed it:

A friendly tipster passed along the following from a Cooper Union student, who — wisely at first — thought the e-mail below was a hoax given all the upheaval there of late. But it is not.

From: bulkmail@cooper.edu
Date: March 3, 2010 2:37:35 PM EST
To: undisclosed-recipients:;
Subject: A nasty stomach virus at Cooper

Cooper has been hit by a 48 hour stomach virus, characterized by projectile vomiting and high temperatures.
Wash your hands frequently with soap and water. This is the single most effective preventive step you can take.
Go back to using the Purell dispensers.
Try not to touch your eyes, nose, or mouth.
Avoid large gatherings.
If you get the virus, stay home! Drink lots of fluids.

Alan Wolf
Campus-wide Safety Coordinator

Image via

Cooper Union's new Barf Barriers help thwart the Serial Vomiter

Cooper Union officials recently probably didn't appoint a Blue Ribbon Yak Force to explore solutions to the ongoing occurrences of the Serial Vomiter targeting the school's new academic building.

The solution: Barf Barriers will now surround the school. They are similar to the ones employed by Daytona Beach city officials to help combat spring breaks in the early 1980s.




And they worked this last weekend: There were no reportings of vomit near or on Cooper Union.

When will the Cooper Union invest in a sawdust bucket?

So! As EV Grieve has been reporting, a serial vomiter has been targeting the newish Cooper Union building. First, the editors at EV Heave want to thank EV Grieve for all the work on this...

Anyway! So last weekend, the Serial Vomiter struck again.



We also spotted a few other suspicious-looking piles... the first is, well, sweet Jesus we really don't want to know what this is exactly...



And this? Well! At least someone (or something!) was nice enough to cover it with newspapers. (And think if this publication was online only! Gonna cover this with your laptop?)



As awful as all this is, we think we caught a break in the case: A set of poopy prints!




It is our belief that the Serial Vomiter, so intent on his or her end goal, unknowingly walked in doggie doo... and left a valuable clue. We sent a sample to the BSI lab for analysis.